


Nature Calls

by MarcellusMiro66



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Blood and Violence, Comedy, Dark Comedy, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Gun Violence, Romantic Comedy, Sexual, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 16:21:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14719502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarcellusMiro66/pseuds/MarcellusMiro66
Summary: Max meets a big brother in the form of a boy named Lincoln. Hilarity (and a LOT of fourth wall breaking) ensues.





	Nature Calls

"David, enlighten me: why am I – along with Neil, Nikki, and Gwen – in your car and not at the camp?"

"Because, Max, I was hired by Mrs. Johnson to assist in teaching her class what a true camping trip is. And you all are in my car for we are visiting a sporting goods shop. Tell him, Gwen!"

"... Yeah, I'm just here because David forced me."

David shot Gwen a look that clearly read **_"Hey, lighten up, Gwen..."_** before turning back towards the road to drive. Gwen in turn shot Max a look that clearly read **_"I'm sorry about this, Max..."_** while shrugging her shoulders in sympathy. Max in succession shot Neil and Nikki a look that clearly read _**"Kill me and free me now from David, you guys..."**_ as he crossed his arms. Neil and Nikki shot each other a look that clearly read **_"What in the hell is going here, Neil/Nikki...?"_** , a question that was responded with a shoulder shrug and a look of confusion. So, yeah, a lot of looks were shot and fired. Don't ask why; just accept it.

"Oh, don't worry, Gwen. Every single one of us is going to be okay. I'm just worried about the camp and its future if this camping trip goes awry."

"Well, your devotion towards the camp is what worries me, David."

Max sighed under his breath as he continued to cross his arms. Nikki saw this and shot him a comforting smile, patting him on the shoulder as a reassuring sign. "Aw, cheer up, Max! I'm pretty sure the camping trip can't be that bad! Besides..." She leaned in close to whisper into his ear: "I heard Gwen convince David to buy shotguns for skeet shooting."

Leave it to Nikki to cheer up a dejected or otherwise overtly pessimistic person. Upon hearing the detail with the shotguns, Max smiled like a cheery kid on Christmas...quite uncharacteristic of him. "Thanks, Nikki."

Nikki herself smiled some more and added "No problem, Max." before latching onto David and Gwen's petty squabble as they precariously avoided traffic. Max's warm smile remained for a few more minutes before he caught notice of Neil's surprisingly smug smirk.

"What's wrong with you, Neil?"

"I think you know, Max."

"... I don't."

"I may be nerdy, but I'm not stupid. You're in love, Max."

It was probably the way Neil had said the reason for his sly smile was delivered in the bluntest fashion possible or rather the fact that he discovered what he considered his deepest and darkest secret. Either way, Max was taken aback by Neil's reason why not for smirking and scowled at him in response. "No, I'm not, Neil. I just – "

"Just what? Entranced by her smile, drawn to her voice, fascinated with her looks? Honestly, I think she's cute, too."

That, on the other hand, got Max going; he grabbed a terrified Neil by the collar and basically spat in his face.

"No one fucking asked you, Neil!"

"Who asked what, Max?" Nikki stopped listening to David and Gwen's conversation the minute Max revealed his crush on...someone. However, judging by what Neil said ( _Nice going, dumbass_ ), he was quote **_"entranced by her smile, drawn to her voice, and fascinated with her looks"_**. To be honest, she wished the girl Max was crushing on was her in actuality; she had developed a particular interest in him when they both laid eyes on each other. Little did she know...

Max himself mentally cursed at the timing of his situation before the heavens above answered his prayers.

"Alright, everyone! We're here!"

At that statement, Max quite literally crashed out of the car through the window and ran into the sports store, nearly crashing into a boy who was carrying a sports bag of what we're lead to assume is sports supplies. ( _They're not. Trust me._ ) This boy had white hair, black shades with a red trim propped atop his hair, a black leather jacket above a yellow shirt, blue jeans, and brown boots. The preteen shook his head in disdain as he recovered. _Ugh, damn kid. The next time I see him..._

"Max! Wait up!"

"You're not going to get me arrested for unintentional child abandonment!"

He watched David and Gwen bolt past him into the store as Neil and Nikki leisurely trailed behind them. "What's their problem?"

"Well..." Neil smiled, both hands behind his back, "Max is a problem child that David and Gwen have trouble dealing with. He's possibly insane."

The poor preteen didn't know what to think of Neil's conjured-up-on-the-spot story about Max. At least, he merely frowned in disinterest and remarked: "Hmm. Lucky. At least he has parents. My folks threw me out when I was only eleven."

Neil and Nikki were completely taken back by the boy's rather nonchalant delivery of a rather tragic revelation. The former was currently regretting the made-up story, debating whether or not to tell him the truth; the latter was currently sympathetic towards him and expressing her condolences. "Aw, I'm sorry for your loss."

"Don't be," the boy smiled amidst his shoulder shrug, "My parents and sisters never loved me...well, with the exception of my 15-month-later sister, but she's a baby. Besides her, the only one who cared about me was my grandfather; in fact, he's the one who helped me run away from that sorry excuse of a town. Everybody else either shunned me, disregarded me, or straight up bullied me for one little mistake that wasn't even my fault. It just goes to show that the world is nothing more than a crapsack world full of people who exist only to get you and that going on a kill-crazy rampage is quite possibly my way to escape this fucking nightmare of a hellhole. Besides...why do you think I bought big ass guns and stored them into this **_B.A.G._**?"

Neil and Nikki exchanged horrified glances ( _Holy fuck, and I thought Max was bad!_ ), something didn't go unnoticed by the preteen, who immediately caught on and laughed sardonically. "Oh, relax! I'm just fucking around with you guys! I couldn't possibly buy firearms at this age!" The boy began walking away before he stopped in his tracks and glanced over his shoulder to comment: "Then again, I never said anything about murder weapons, did I?"

He then shot them one more sinister smirk before turning tail and leaving an uncomfortable silence in their wake.

. . .

. . .

. . .

"Man, I hope we never see him again."

"No, I'm probably sure we will."

As they entered the store to meet up with the three, they probably should've stayed a little longer because the preteen did. Entering Gwen's car through the window Max had smashed, he tossed his sports bag into the trunk and climbed inside. Whipping out his iPhone, he began to play **_" Psycho Killer"_** by **_Talking Heads_** , humming away as he waited for the others to arrive.

* * *

**_A Few Hours Later. . ._ **

Nikki bobbed her head up and down on a dick as Max himself moaned in pleasure. When the time came (pun intended), he came into her mouth as her head was held down; she swallowed every last drop until she and him were fully satisfied. And then she kept on sucking. From a distance, the boy watched the crude sexual action as he masturbated at the thought of him and Max double-teaming Nikki (he had the front, he had the back...once her cherry was popped, anyway). Then the boy did something really, really, really, really, really shocking.

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

He turned and talked to _you_ , the unwitting readers.

_"I know what you're thinking: **"Oh my fuck! This is so fucked up! They're just kids!"** Well, guess what: it was bound to happen. Don't bother deny it. We all indulge in our very guilty pleasures once in a while. Besides, it could've been a lot more worse. They could've been raped and murdered not soon after. But that's not gonna happen, you know why? Because I'm here. And the love story wouldn't have a happy ending otherwise. Yes, despite the bloody violence that inevitably ensue, this coming-of-age tale is also a beautiful love story. And to tell it right, I'm gonna have to take you all the way before Max squeezes his fat dick into Nikki's small ass." _

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_"Oh, and my name is Lincoln Loud. Pleased to meet you."_


End file.
